


Here

by thetitangami



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, I honesty don't even know, M/M, Some angst, but hinata also changes this, ends happy, hinata makes everything better, kageyama doubts love, kageyama has had a rough life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 13:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5128919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetitangami/pseuds/thetitangami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't know if it'll be soon babe, but it will be wonderful. You see, life loses the day you meet your soul mate, when you fall in love. After that, nothing will seem quite as bad anymore, because you have them with you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I just threw this together cause I felt like writing. This isn't edited just a warning. I hope you enjoy!

                Kageyama sometimes wonders if Hinata is actually real.

                Life has never treated him kindly -or at least that's how his mother likes to put it, she had always been kinder to him then he had been to himself- and he's used to it. He won't say he can handle it yet, because he can't no matter how fucking hard he tries. If he's keeping score, its Life infinity and Kageyama zero. He doesn't think life has actually hit infinity yet but he can't remember _every single time_ it's won, and he assumes life will win every round in the future.

                When he's twelve he tells his mother that he thinks life is always going to win and she had given him one of her real smiles. (He thinks he stopped seeing her genuine smiles when he was five) She tells him that she doesn't think it will, but she can insure him that there will be one time when he wins for sure.

_"When? Can it be soon?"_

_She laughs lightly at him, silver eyes crinkling at the edges. "I don't know if it'll be soon babe, but it will be wonderful. You see, life loses the day you meet your soul mate, when you fall in love. After that, nothing will seem quite as bad anymore, because you have them with you."_

                He had scrunched his nose and loudly proclaimed that love was gross, making his mother laugh just a little louder. Kageyama had written off love as a lie when his mom had first defended his father, claiming that the bruises really didn't mean anything because they were in love. Of course, even she admits later that the bastard probably never could've loved anything. This just means that when his mother tells him that he'll win against life the day he falls in love with his soul mate, he accepts that he'll never win.

                This doesn't change when he meets Hinata Shouyou at the start of high school, this doesn't change when they become partners. It sort of starts to change during their second year, and at the beginning of their third year when Hinata grabs his collar and collides their lips he has to go home and seriously rethink his opinion of the past ten years.

                Hinata says "I love you" for the first time seven months and twelve days into their relationship. It shocks him to a great extent and he swears at Hinata in response. This give them their first really damaging fight as a couple and it end with Kageyama laying in Hinatas' arms after sneaking into his house at three in the morning, cling to him as tightly as possible while whispering that he's sorry, he's _so, so sorry._ Hinata seems to understand why he can't say it back, he knows about the parts of his childhood hidden from everyone else. So Hinata kisses him softly, slowly, and whispers back that he doesn't have to be sorry. Hinata will wait for him.

                It shouldn't be a surprise they get scouted for a collage together, and get accepted to the same collage together, or that they move into an apartment together. Honestly he doesn't know if he can really feel a difference now that they're living together because Hinata has always invaded his space and made himself comfortable, if anything its better. Now he gets to have Hinata next to him every night, he doesn't need to have an excuse anymore.

                Its fourteen months and twenty two days into their relationship that Kageyama finally manages to say "I love you" back to his boyfriend. Hinata actually cries like an idiot, and he would've tried to comfort him but suddenly there were hands all over and his mind became occupied with nothing but _Hinata Hinata Hinata_ for the next few hours. He supposes though by his mothers wisdom, that life has stopped winning today.

                This is kind of some type of apocalyptic sign, because him winning in anything but volleyball is unheard of. So when he's laying in bed much later watching as the clock reads _2:15 am_ on the fourteen month and twenty third day of his relationship with this boy, he find himself kind of marveling at it. He can't seem to stop staring at the boy lying next to him; face relaxed and mouth almost seeming to smile in his sleep. Kageyama reaches out and touches the body he'd stripped bare hours earlier, as if to assure himself that he's still actually here.

                He barely brushes the tips of his fingers against Hinatas' sides, up from the curves of his hip bones to the bones of his collar bone. He's gentle, and moves so very, very slowly. He goes over every inch he can see, and even recalls from memory the parts he can't. He moves a finger across the four prominent freckles on Hinatas' torso, starting below his shoulder and ending near his hips on the left side. He reaches around and feels where the muscles in Hinatas' shoulders are most defined. He pulls his hand away for a moment as he remembers the scar on the top of his boyfriends' right thigh, where he had fallen of his bike on the way home and rolled down a hill during their second year. Hinata had gotten stitches and Kageyama had refused to let him do anything alone for a month _after_ the wound had healed. (This lead to one of the other major fights in their relationship as a whole, which again ended with Kageyama a useless puddle in Hinatas' arms. Looking back at it now he realizes that his feelings were just as obvious and Hinatas'.)

                When he reaches out to Hinata again he places his hand in his hair, running his fingers through strangle soft orange locks before running his hand down to his jaw. He keeps his hand there and rubs the soft skin with the pad of his thumb. This is how Hinata wakes up, to Kageyama staring at him while he touches his face.

                He's probably never looked creepier and his thumb stills, his mouth opening to make up some type of excuse when he's stopped.

                "Tobio, oh god, Tobio what's wrong?" Hinata shifts and pulls out his own hand from under the covers, placing on the side of Kageyamas' face. His thumb smears something wet along his cheekbone, and he's starting to wonder why in the actual hell Hinatas' thumb is wet when it occurs to him why Hinata just asked him that question.

                He was _crying_ , he has _been_ crying. Fuck, how long had he been crying? He pulls his hand away from Shouyous' face and pushes the hand on his own face away a little more harshly then he needs to, embarrassment and shame bubbling up inside of him. "Nothing, I'm fine." He rolls over onto his other side so that he faces away from Shouyou. "I didn't mean to wake you up, go back to sleep."

                The bed creaks as Shouyou moves and an arm drapes itself across his waist, pulling him back into Shouyous' chest. Lips touch in-between his shoulder blades, his shoulder, and then the nape of his neck. "Tobio what's wrong? Talk."

                Kageyama scowls at the dark, "I said nothing dumbass. Go to sleep."

                He hears Hinata huff behind him and the arm is removed from his waist as assumedly sits up. "I won't go to sleep until you talk to me; I have no problem staying awake. Tomorrow, or wait, today I guess, is Sunday, so it's not like we have classes."

                "No, we don't. You need to sleep anyway though; it's not good for you to be up."

                "So it's okay for you to be up touching me and crying about something you won't talk about, but I can't be up to help you?"

                The tone is Shouyous' voice is starting to take a bad turn and he can feel the fight start to build between them; he can feel the air start to thicken. But Kageyama doesn't want to fight with Shou, that's the opposite of what he wants right now. So he swallows his pride as best he can and rolls onto his back, looking up at Shouyou through the bangs that fall into his eyes. "I'm sorry Shouyou, I don't want to fight with you. I didn't mean to make up upset."

                The reaction is instant, Shouyous' eyes softening and shoulders relaxing from their tensed positions. "I don't want to fight with you either, but you can't just expect me to brush that off. I haven't seen you cry since…well…" he trails off.

                Kageyama knows what he's talking about, another fight. It was a couple of months ago; they had gotten into a fight over nothing really. Kageyama had been on edge because his mother had called him warning that his dad may be looking for him. Apparently his dad was broke and had gone ransacking through his mother's house, she had assured him she was fine and that she was having a security system installed, but he should be careful. He was pissed at his father when Hinata had come home ten minutes after the phones call, and it didn't take much from Hinata to set him off into a complete screaming fit. The reason he had cried was because Shouyou had threatened to leave him, was halfway out the door with his shoes and keys when he had started sobbing. It was childish and more humiliating then right now, but the fight was forgotten instantly. He ended up crying for almost two hours, begging Shouyou not to leave and telling him about his dad.

                It hadn't been a good moment, but Shouyou was right, he hadn't cried since then. He clears his throat and looks away, "Yeah I know. I didn't even realize I was crying when you woke up."

                He feels a hand run through his bangs, pushing them away from his eyes. Shouyou tangles his fingers in them and pushes them far back until all of Kageyamas' face is visible and he looks back to meet gold eyes. "Okay, but something's still wrong, right?"

                He scowls and shrugs, "Nothing should be wrong. I was actually kinda thinking that I was happy. I finally beat life."

                Shouyou tilts his head to the side, "What do you mean?"

                "When I was younger I told my mom I didn't think I'd ever win against life," Kageyama explains, "and she said the day I fell in love I'd win against it. I was just thinking that I won, didn't really seem possible. I needed to make sure you were real."

                "Is that why you were touching me?"

                "Yes."

                They fall into silence for a moment, the open window letting in a chill from outside. Shouyou starts to move his fingers through his hair, nails scratching at his scalp every now and again. He lets his eyes roam over Shou for a second, their blanket pooled in his lap and his upper half bare. He watches as the muscles in his forearm move with the hand running though his hair. Then the hand stops.

                "So, what? You thought I was a ghost?" Shouyou raises an eyebrow at him.

                Kageyama almost growls, "No, you dumbass! It just didn't feel like this was reality, it felt like some type of dream I'd conjured up to make myself feel better about how shitty my life was."

                "Hmmm." Shouyou seems to consider this and his hand moves to grab Kageyamas', moving it so that his hand rests above Shouyous' heart. It beats steadily and Kageyama presses his palm slightly into Shous' chest as if to feel it better. "You can feel my heart beat right?" He nods. "Then that means I'm real, and that this isn't some screwy dream. So you can officially say that you win."

                He looks up into Shouyous' eyes and allows himself to smile. He moves his hand to tug at Shouyous' shoulder; he gets the hint and lies down. Shouyous' weight is comforting, solid and warm and _real_. He puts both arms around Shouyou, and in turn Shouyou starts to draw invisible patterns onto his chest, finger tips running smoothly over his skin.

                That leaves the score at Life: eighteen years, four months, and twenty one days and Kageyama: every single damned day after that.

**Author's Note:**

> That ending was so shit, holy hell. Anyway, thanks for reading! It means a lot, please leave a kudo or a bookmark or a comment if you have the time. Thanks!


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